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Archive for January 19th, 2015

For those who leave a church or pull back from church for a season who then get upset that no one calls or checks up on them…..

Sometimes, this is a very valid hurt and I am sorry you experience it. Sometimes it’s not and I’d like to give you something to think about.

As a pastor, I end up in the middle of this sometimes and I see what you don’t see. When you go from being active in the church family and then pull back without talking to anyone about why, it causes hurt and confusion. Others don’t know if they did something wrong, are dealing with whiplash of you being close and then gone, and don’t know what to say. They end up coming to the pastor or others saying “What happened to ……. I miss them. Is everything ok?” instead of coming to you. So people do miss you but you don’t see it.

I’m not saying it’s right. I encourage people to go talk to each other but it can be an uncomfortable spot they have been put into when they feel you left them and sometimes (often times) they don’t.

So, I’m not saying it’s right but I do see it happen. Those left are hurt and confused, the person that pulled back or left is hurt and confused, and both feel hurt and separated.

More communication would bring unity and healing.

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