I read this on Steven Furtick’s blog and thought it was interesting. I am not sure it really addresses the real complexities of a broken relationship but it does raise an interesting point. What I mean is, I believe we are to try to work through the challanges of the bumps in relationships so I believe this blog comes into play once things get to a toxic level. The toxic level is once the person in your life is not open to reconciliation and refuse to act in love towards you. That disclaimer made, I think there is some things to consider in this blog. Let me know your thoughts…..
“I want to expand a little on a concept that I touched on recently.
I heard a 5 minute rant by Bishop T.D. Jakes recently about dealing with people who choose to exit your life.
His bottom line instruction:
If somebody can walk away from you, let them walk.
Our reflexive response is to chase after the people who leave our lives. I’ve seen pastors approach the verge of nervous break down attempting to convince disgruntled church members to stay.
This rarely works. If you do convince them to stay, chances are good their attitudes will begin to demolish the interior of your church.
Let them walk. There’s a better church for them. Let them bless another ministry.
I’ve seen girls give guys their hearts, their bodies, and irrevocable pieces of their souls trying to keep a guy who’s not even a keeper to begin with.
If he doesn’t see the goodness and the virtue in you, and you have to cross the line of sin to make him stay, let him walk.
Make room for someone better.
Granted, there are exceptions to this rule. When you’ve sinned against someone, it’s your Biblical responsibility to make it right. Even when someone has an issue with you, you are obligated to do everything you can to make it right.
But that doesn’t mean that you continue to pursue the relationship to your own detriment, or that you continue to extend unwarranted and unwise trust and access.
There are too many people waiting to be reached for a pastor to agonize over those who don’t want to stay.
You have too much going for you to expend energy trying to convince another person to love you, accept you, believe in you…
If someone can walk away from you, let them walk. Gracefully, with dignity.
Your destiny is never connected to those who leave.
Build on the foundation that remains.”
Tom, I’ve learned this lesson as well. For us pastors, the bottom line is that you cannot build a community on those who would rather be elsewhere, or who no longer want to walk with us. You have to build the community with those who really want to do it with you. When Jesus said not to throw pearls before swine, or feeding sacred things to dogs, he wasn’t saying, “Don’t waste your time on sinners,” but rather, “Don’t force feed people what they aren’t ready for.” Let ’em walk. When they’re ready, then it will be time to talk.
Thanks for stopping by Fran……always good to hear your thoughts!
Well, if my pastor thought of me as “swine”, I’d probably leave too. 😀