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Posts Tagged ‘be real’

OK, now it’s just shameful that I have moved two posts from Steven Furtick’s blog to here. Sorry…… I just like this one as well. Enjoy!

The next time you’re having a superfluous conversation with someone you really like and trust, try this:
Move deep on ‘em.
Here’s an example:

I was talking on the phone to my friend Bil recently, and we were having a pretty good conversation.  I don’t know Bil super-well, but we’ve hung out and interacted enough that I know I like him.  We also have a lot of mutual friends and I greatly respect his ministry.

At the end of the call, Bil asked how he could pray for me.
The easy answer: “Just pray that our Christmas Eve services will be great.  We’re having 2 of them Uptown and then blah blah blah blah….”
This response, while fine, doesn’t really take our friendship anywhere.  I’m just rehashing stuff he could already read about me on my blog.

Honest answer: “Bil, you know how sometimes as a leader you feel a little disoriented and lonely?  I feel a little that way lately.  Pray for me about that.”

This opened the door for Bil to share something brief and encouraging that really lifted my perspective.

A few clarifications:

  • Some of you will take this as a license to enlighten complete strangers about how painful your chronic back pain is or how tired you are.  Don’t be that person.Don’t assume that anyone wants to be your volunteer therapist.
  • Even when it comes to people you know, emotionally vomiting when they ask you how you’re doing is a bad idea.  If you take it to this extreme, people will certainly begin to dodge you.  Then they’ll tell others to do the same.
  • Be careful of devouring people’s time.  Moving deeper doesn’t always require talking longer than you normally would.  You can move deep-quickly-and actually probably spend less time in conversation, accomplishing more.

In spite of these landmines, when you time it right and do it well, moving deep quickly can accelerate great relationships and sift out mediocre ones.
It’s a lot better than: “Man, this weather sure is cold.”
Say something that matters.

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